theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
