you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
