do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
