i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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