just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
