last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
