my vag is so smooth its legendary
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
