you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
