he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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