Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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