waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
