I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
