should my penis look like a turkey
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
