haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
birth control should be required to get into college
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
