Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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