Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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