he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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