Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
