i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
