I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
