So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i think im in europe. pls send help
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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