Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he thought i was a dude.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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