come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
