we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
