I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
