plz talk dirty to me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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