I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
