Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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