got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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