Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
