dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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