So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the day after is always just damage control
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
