Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
