I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
