Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
