we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
barbara walters just said penis...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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