god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
