this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
birth control should be required to get into college
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
