I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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