3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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