Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
