just tell him i said nine months
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
