the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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