I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
