She's JV to your varsity
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
