So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
