Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
