I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
