That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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