someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
