Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
